I’ve spent time and time again trying
To put the words in my heart onto paper for you;
To bend the fabric of rhetoric into poetry for you.
And with each everlasting second that this document remains Untitled
And the whiteness of the bare screen burns into my retinas,
I see now that I do not need to rewrite the symphonies of Beethoven,
For you will love me anyway.
I see now, as my vision begins to blur with each blink that I restrain,
That I do not need to search the world over,
I do not need to walk through the valley of death
And fear no evil to attain love.
Love is just a phone call away,
A call that I regrettably postpone day after day,
And each day that passes a guilt eats away at my heart
Because I know that you will accept me for who I am;
I know that whatever words I utter,
No matter the manner of trouble of which I have headstrongly ran into headfirst,
You will be there with first-aid,
To remedy the pain I have caused myself through not listening to you,
By not seeing the big picture you have so plainly painted in the back of my mind,
I had lost my way.
I had lost the motivation to continue on in this world,
This cruel, unforgiving world where not a soul gives a damn about my plight,
Except for you.
Except for the select few, like you, that say to hell with the melodrama,
“Open your eyes and see the light around you.
Because every good day has a beginning
And every bad day has an end...
And if by the end of the day you cannot hold your head high
As you lay it down for the night,
Just remember that I am there for you.”
And there for me you were,
Like the pungent smell of morning coffee,
And the anxiety before the first bite of my new life at breakfast,
You were there,
To guide me on the path to the man I am today,
A man still hardly worth his salt in gold,
But worth his weight in pride;
And while despite your attempts to increase my scale,
The number on the dial increased
Only after I had left the place I had started to call home.
After that long, silent car ride to my new life,
An evening I remember somberly
As the night I cried like a baby wanting his mother...
I know now as I knew right then that I wanted my mother.
I wanted to be her child, for her to take care of me like she always has.
I wanted to feel the warmth of her embrace the day I returned home.
I wanted her to know that even though we had been separated so many years ago,
She was the only mother I had ever wanted.
I want you to know so many things, mom,
So many things that I cannot possibly put to paper.
And while this piece is no longer bare,
It doesn’t come close to the words I wish to say to you.
Just three little words,
From a baby to his mother...
I love you.